I began this blog after my mother once again prompted me to write. She has been telling me to write a book for about 15 years as she said I have done so much interesting stuff in such a short time. I have never seen my life that way – I guess you don’t if you’re the one living it. Anyway, I thought after I got married I felt all inspired (and too pregnant to do much else except sit on the couch and write) and so I started this blog. The name came about because I have always done things my way and I have never been good at being told what to do (who is?). I also think you should never tell people what to do. I believe that the best way to go about anything in life is to find your own way, sure its good to learn from others but ultimately you have to do what feels right for you.
In the last couple of years my life has changed so dramatically for the best that I reflect often on how only 2 years ago I would never have dreamt that my life would be what it is now. 2 years ago I was slogging it out in the field of mental health, I was 34 and had finally ended a very very toxic relationship and was living in my duplex with my little dog. We just hung out together and went for beach and park walks and would watch foreign movies on tv. I had committed myself to a year of not entering into any relationship and just spending the time on healing past wounds and regaining my health and confidence which was at an all time low. I was still working in mental health and loved the people I worked with – they were a great team – but I wanted more in my life and knew that I had to work on myself for some new to enter my life. I had remained stagnant for too long with my ex.
…And then I was reintroduced to Brett. I had known him for 20 years and I knew his brother too but we had lost contact after his brother died. We began chatting on Facebook (of all places) and it was just too easy. I told him that this was my year to be alone and I was too much of a mess to begin a relationship but in spite of myself I fell in love with him. There was just so much of myself that didn’t need explaining because he already knew my past which is really what shaped me into the person I am and the person that I was trying to reconnect with after a horrible relationship. We took it easy for a while and I remained living alone, then he proposed on New Years Eve 2012. Since then life has only gotten better and better. I am so crazy in love with him and as much of a cliche as it sounds, I have absolutely never felt this way about a person EVER. He supports me in every way to be the person I truly am, I have never felt so confident and in touch with myself.
So, now we are married and I am in my 8th month of pregnancy. Our baby girl is due on the 8th of May.
At the beginning of last year I quit my job and began studying my masters in counselling. I deferred this in November due to some terribly persistent migraines in my first trimester and I plan to recommence those studies after another year. Since those symptoms subsided and I had decluttered my house and life (nesting much?) I was beginning to get a bit bored. The doctor had recommended I be less physical and rest more, I hate daytime television so was going a bit stir crazy! I began thinking about the writing thing…..I had started and never finished a flexible learning freelance journalism course years ago and since I spend more time at home and doing less I thought I would write to them and see if I can continue those studies as I can at least keep intellectually stimulated. To my surprise and excitement they said YES!! and so I decided to re-start the journalism diploma. I received my first assignment feedback this week and they said it was excellent! Holy crap I wasn’t expecting that! ahaha
It has been a big leap of faith for me to put myself out there in the form of this blog. I would never have done this 2 years ago as I lived in fear of everything (especially of myself) and would not have taken the risk. I had let that 5 year relationship wear away at my soul and I was worried that I may never get me back…but I had hope.
It is amazing how quickly your life can change and how bright my future now looks. 🙂
I would love it if others wanted to share their little story with me too!